Updated: Dec 30, 2020
I was so cross yesterday with Jack. I can’t believe he posted on my blog. I was really angry and went downstairs and told Mum. As I was telling Mum all about it, Theo came downstairs with a piece of paper. He gave it to me, saying ‘It’s next verse from Alison.’ I took it and started to read.
‘You’ve got to read it out loud’ Jack’s voice drifted down the stairs.
‘“Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32. Mum, I don’t want to forgive him! The blog is mine, and I was so enjoying it. Now he has ruined it.’
Mum put the kettle on and we sat down together. She didn’t say anything until we both had a cup of tea in front of us. (I don’t really like tea, but sometimes you need to have a hot cup of drink in front of you to hold or look at, even if you don’t actually drink it.)
‘Read that verse again, Sienna.’
‘”Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.”’
Mum looked at me, kindly. ‘How do you feel when you do something wrong, and you know someone is angry with you?’
‘It’s a horrible feeling, one I don’t really like to remember. I feel scared about seeing that person and want to hide. I feel like I need to make excuses or somehow make it right with that person as soon as possible. It’s awful.’
‘That’s right. It is one of the worst feelings,’ agreed Mum. ‘Especially if you love the person you have upset. So what do you do about it?’
‘Even if I can’t say sorry to the person, I say sorry to God really quickly.’
‘And does that help?’
‘Well, I feel like God understands me, and when I say sorry He helps me sort it out quickly – sometimes.’
‘So He forgives you, quickly? And how does that forgiveness make you feel?’
‘Safe, and peaceful, and not as though the world is going to end.’
Mum nodded. ‘Yes, I know from my life how good that forgiveness feels.’ Mum was quiet for a moment, as though she was remembering something.
‘Can you read again the second part of the verse Theo gave you?’
‘”Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.” I guess it’s saying I need to forgive Jack, quickly and properly. I suppose God wants me to help Jack feel safe and peaceful, like I feel when I know I am forgiven. But, Mum, I really don’t want to.’
‘Sienna, let’s spend a few minutes thanking God for the things He has forgiven us for. We don’t have to say the words out loud if you don’t want to, but let’s thank God for the times that you can remember He forgave you.’
I’ll be honest, I began to remember some pretty nasty things I had said or thought or done. It wasn’t a nice few minutes, but the more I remembered, the more grateful I was that God forgave me for those things. I didn’t have to be afraid of the punishment, because of Jesus, He forgave me.
When I finally opened my eyes, Mum’s eyes looked a bit red, like she had been crying a bit. ‘Not nice, eh?’ she asked. I nodded.
‘Remembering how much God has forgiven you, do you think you can forgive your brother?’
I nodded again, and as soon as I did, the door behind me burst open, and there was Jack. He looked like he'd been crying too. ‘I’m really sorry Sienna, I just wanted to talk about how great life is now Uncle Matt is here. I didn’t mean to upset you this much.’
I gave my brother a hug, and it felt good to have everything sorted out between us. ‘Maybe I could let you take over another blog post, next week, if you like. But you have to ask first!’
‘OK, I will! Aren’t you scared people will like my posts better than yours?’
‘No, not really!’